Sunday, December 30, 2007

no one's to be blamed

Really, there’s no one. All mistakes, front acts, and deeds are carried out by me alone. One reel may not be enough to record my daily ventures on how to spend my time wisely for this year only. I could never argue that change is really one of the major things that happened. And for Year 2007, contemplating from this day and the rest of the eleven months back, this thing called change altered a lot of things into both something good and bad.

No one’s to be blamed that debates flared up here, private arguments burst there, aches sprouted up, confusion boiled down, vendettas thrown everywhere, schemes scattered, gossips ruled, new set of armor bought, alliances formed, congregations crumbled, and foes boomed in number. And no one’s to be blamed for these happenings are part and parcel of the world’s natural process of orderliness. It is ironic though that chaos and misunderstandings are significant to the development but take note; even the worm has to crawl from the grounds first before it changes into a butterfly and wanders the skies. And before I forget, there’s one more thing; one more change that without it I could have never endured this year: There’s no one one’s to be blamed that “friends” were found and acknowledged by me.

No one’s to be blamed. Forgive me for specially quoting that word but up to now no one yet has reached my set standards of being one. Oh please don’t misinterpret me. I am not doing this just for some people to be thankful for having known me, seen me, greeted me, or whatever they have done to me, what I just want to bring out from this principle is that I have to be careful. Careful on everything, that’s just it. But I tell you, there’s a handful that has gotten into my very core and understood the amphibian within me and I appreciate it. To those who are courageous enough to listen to my almost-daily bouts of self-inflicted depression, kind enough to laugh along with my well-rehearsed laughter, patient and are humble enough to at least say “hi” after sending a poetic suicide message almost every midnight, thank you. I love you. This line may be an understatement but, of course, you know who you are and you deserve it.

No one’s to be blamed. No one’s to be blamed. People must not pity others but instead they must pity themselves; no one else must be blamed for their outcome but only themselves.

No one’s to be blamed but me. Another year has passed so quickly I didn’t care much of my hairline that recedes in millimeters per week. For Year 2007, I will always remember you and no matter how complex you are, I always loved you. As for Year 2008, I welcome you and I’ll try my best to love you.

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