Saturday, September 24, 2016

the kill list chronicles

I’ve always made a point to recount my day’s activities and musings on a journal before I go to sleep. Sometimes I’d skip an evening or two, but I would return to these missed journaling assignments and remember as much as I can how things have gone by, no matter how mundane they are. Lately, though, the blank spaces are creeping up and crowding the pages.

There are several reasons why: laziness, procrastination, too tired to even lift a pen, too many distractions and temptations, there is nothing new to say. Of course, everyone has something new to say. Filipinos are born to always have something to say, even to the point of being pointless. But living in this life right now, in the middle of a political climate that is downright suffocating, any interest to continue pushing through can easily be pronounced dead. Or killed, by default.

To make my point clear, let’s consider the latest man in highest office in our country, a man whose ego is as fragile as Chinaware (no pun intended), who also seems to be an enabler of hate and prejudice, and a champion for lack of empathy and common sense. Because of his irreverent methods on getting things done, there is no hiding the fact that the Philippines has become a bloodied den of vigilantes, injustices, and foul brazen language.

Years ago journal writing has been my refuge, my way of assessing my sanity each day. It’s like an anchor that keeps me put. But today, I do not even know where my sanity begins and where its opposite lies. All the time I track myself if I am functioning properly. Recounting my day that is preoccupied with so much hate and horror again and again can take its toll. That is why for the most part of a week I would try hard as hell to ignore the news like a former paramour who just left you without explanation but returned several years later to get your attention. You know how evil can get under your skin. There is no understating that each week leaves me sore and beat. It doesn’t also help that there is this barrage of noise from social media that could render me—or anyone, rather—emotionally and spiritually mangled.

And there is still six more years to go. I hope I could still muster the energy needed to recount what is needed to be recounted. If only it could bring back the dead.


*


My work “Poetry as a Lesson in Dwelling” is featured in The Kill List Chronicles, an online repository of the continuing protest literature in the Philippines. I’ve read to a small audience in a café an early version of this poem during the International Day of Peace last September 21. It was a celebration across the globe to commemorate the peace we have right now and the peace we want to achieve for the next generation. Coincidentally, it was also the very same day that former president and dictator Ferdinand Marcos declared the bloody Martial Law in the Philippines 44 years ago.

The contradictions, at least for me, were just hard to wrap around my head. 44 years have passed and yet here we are still trying to value and teach the meaning of freedom, respect, and decency. When people are supposed to keep in heart to never forget and to never repeat the history that once broke us, many backtrack instead to the primitive desire to kill without the slightest thought of implications.

This piece took me countless shots of struggling hours to get through. The poetry is personal, and the personal apparently is political. And that is hard. I always consider my works as drafts, and it has always been that way even if they are released to the open for any possible reader to stumble upon. But for this particular work I’ve had the feeling I ought to let it go, that it needs to be separated from my being. Thankfully, it found a place. I do hope we’ll find each other’s peace soon. I hope we will all learn how to dwell to get the dwelling we deserve in this country and in this world. I hope.

Saturday, September 03, 2016

the anniversary


I was about to post something on my blog, when I thought of checking out my archives. Lo and behold, I just discovered last August 26 was the 10th year anniversary of this personal blog. I mean, who would’ve thought that a simple challenge and hobby among college friends back in 2006—which became an online repository of early attempts at literature, rants and opinions, humor and melodrama, and all things sundry—will last this long? 10 years. Imagine that. In this little corner on the internet, I see how my writing has evolved, and it gives me goosebumps stumbling upon old entries. Yucks. Because of this realization, I began checking out the blogs of my college friends too. Unfortunately, all of them have tended other distractions and priorities, and most of their last posts have been published in the mid-2000s. I don’t know what to whip up for this milestone. Perhaps Top 10 of this and that? Maybe. For now, I will have to settle with sprucing it up a bit, give the banner picture a new look.

Tuesday, August 30, 2016

buwan ng mga akdang pinoy: ani 39



My work “Poetry as a Lesson in Zoology” will be included in the 39th edition of ANI, the official literary journal of the Cultural Center of the Philippines. What a heartwarming way to end this month. Good news: that’s one dream finally ticked off the bucket list. Bad news: I won’t be able to attend the book launching on September 23 at the CCP Silangan Hall, 5PM, with the same event also serving as a celebration for the 47th anniversary of CPP. Sayang.

This particular edition takes on the theme “Kahayupan: The Animal Kingdom,” and it is touted to be the thickest issue of ANI yet. It has the cover art by Neil Doloricon, and the published works are written in various languages like Filipino, Ilokano, Akeanon, Bikol, Bikol-Naga, Chavacano, Kinaray-a, and English. The ninety-one writers (from across the nation and across the globe) featured in this literary journal are the following:

Jose Marte A. Abueg
Jim Pascual Agustin
Vijae O. Alquisola
Jenalyn J. Aman
Mark Angeles
Rebecca T. Añonuevo
Genevieve Mae Aquino
Mark Joseph Z. Arisgado
Mark Anthony B. Austria
Elbert O. Baeta
Gil S. Beltran
Herminio S. Beltran
April Mae M. Berza
Julius D. Bulahan
Anabelle Calleja
Ernesto Carandang
F. Jordan Carnice
Dexter Cayanes
Jose Jason L. Chancoco
Melchor F. Cichon
Jasmine Cruz
M. Protacio de Guzman
Rodrigo dela Peña, Jr.
Francis Gallano Delgado
Charlie Anne I. Espiritu
Martin G. Genodepa
Joel Jacob
Sabina Marites Lañada
Marra PL. Lanot
Ireneo Jr. Lit
Nestor L. Lucena
Francis C. Macansantos
Priscilla Supnet Macansantos
Shur C. Mangilaya
Noahlyn Maranan
Vim Nadera
Ben D. Nillo
Richard P. Nollen
Allen Lenard Ocampo
Aldrin Pentero
Padmapani L. Perez
Honesto M. Pesimo, Jr.
Allan Popa
Frank Rivera
Glen A. Sales
Louie Jon A. Sanchez
E. San Juan, Jr.
John Patrick Solano
Ariel Tabag
John Iremil Teodoro
Glenn Ford B. Tolentino
Oswald A. Valente
Hope Sabanpan Yu
Jeffrey R. Ancheta
Ma. Rita Aranda
Emmanuel T. Barrameda
Ludwig Jan Batuigas
Janet Batuigas
Lorna A. Billones
Rina Garcia Chua
Joey Chua
Efren J. Domingo
U Z. Eliserio
Susan Lara
Andrian Legaspi
Perry Mangilaya
Eilyn L. Nidea
Ian Kenneth L. Orasa
Wilhelmina Orozco
Chuckberry J. Pascual
Ma. Angelica Edralyn R. Tuazon
Raul Esquillo Asis
Ana Maria Cuevas-Oliveros
Eugene Y. Evasco
Shur C. Mangilaya
Marilyn Marquez Mercado
Jasmin Tresvalles
Adelle Villarey
Christine S. Bellen
Emerson Bengco
Joshene Bersales
Grace D. Chong
Francis Gallano Delgado
Zarah C. Gagatiga
Luis P. Gatmaitan
Ferdinand Pisigan Jarin
Christine F. Godinez Ortega
Carla M. Pacis
Rosales S. Pagnamitan
Flor Salanga
Herbel Santiago.

[ image and information borrowed from this site ]

Saturday, August 20, 2016

buwan ng mga akdang pinoy: feast and famine, stories of negros by rosario cruz lucero



To continue our celebration of Buwan ng mga Akdang Pinoy, here’s another literary work that deserves all the praises it gets and, I believe, deserves the need for this masterpiece to be required reading for both casual readers and lovers of literature. This is Rosario Cruz Lucero’s short story collection Feast and Famine: Stories of Negros. This is so far the best collection of stories by a Filipino writer that I’ve ever read, and I am not kidding. It features an array of genres: domestic realism, historical fiction, mystery, even magical realism. But the real and impressive triumph here is how all of these variations feel connected, seamless, and unassuming. It never felt jarring. It is not because of the language or the sprinkling of local Bisayan here and there, and definitely not just the setting of Negros Island where most of the stories' actions take place. I believe it is Lucero's expert handling of the characters’ psyches, the situations or how point A leads to point C and reverts back to point B, and the timeless expressions of misery and joy amidst a backdrop of culture and traditions that are so vivid and well-realized. I can’t stop gushing about this collection since the very first time I stumbled upon it in 2006. From time to time, I return to this work whenever I needed reminding how wonderfully singular and original the Filipino sensibility. For a slim book, it packs a lot of punch. And I am telling you, you better prepare for it.

Thursday, August 18, 2016

buwan ng mga akdang pinoy: hukbong sandatahan ng kahagardan! by manix abrera



I am not sure if every Filipino knows this, but August is Buwan ng Kasaysayan, and while history in this country is now muddled with lies and denial, with many people easily falling for online memes and fabrications, there are remedies to keep the truth from slipping away into obscurity. One of them is the literary arts. Through the imagination of Filipino writers, we cull the insights and the universal truth this nation desperately needs. But for a country with a writer as its national hero, it is ironic that only a few of the populace know about Filipino works of literature. Sad, but it is not the end. There's hope. That's why we have Buwan ng mga Akdang Pinoy, a celebration to bring the spotlight back to our talented, hard working artists. And I'll begin it with this...

I have been following Manix Abrera's comics in the early 2000's through the pages of Philippine Daily Inquirer. So imagine the joy I had when finally, in college, I got his very first compilation titled Mga Tagpong Mukhang Ewan At Kung Anu-ano Pang Kababalaghan. Abrera's humor is not for the faint of heart. It is direct, unapologetic, and although it sometimes border on the metaphysical, it remains sharp that it slices through you, making you ask yourself instead if it is indeed funny or painful because it hits you right on the spot. I've once worked for the student publication for three years back in college, and we juggled our tasks like mad to meet the required weekly (yes, weekly) output, so this particular edition, Hukbong Sandatahan ng Kahagardan!, is a gem because it accurately details the comedy and pains of working as a journalist. It is dark at times, yes, it is brimming with piping hot sarcasm, but it is signature Abrera to put you off for a moment but bring you back in to its uncomfortable embrace. There's a lot more to say about Manix Abrera and his works, but I suggest you guys go see them for yourselves. You'll get a good laugh. That's what we need these days, right?

#BuwanNgMgaAkdangPinoy

Wednesday, August 10, 2016

buwan ng mga akdang pinoy


Yesterday I received a little surprise from the mail man. I got this book. And published in this book is my short fiction piece “The Forgiving.” I have genuinely forgotten I have written this piece. How timely it is to receive this on August, which is considered to be our country’s Buwan ng mga Akdang Pinoy. Ubod, which literally means “bamboo shoots,” is a product of the National Commission for Culture and the Arts’ (NCCA) goal to showcase emerging voices in Philippine literature from across the archipelago. I am surprised and humbled to be part of this collection, to be one of the few featured writers from Central Visayas, considering what I have contributed to this anthology is a product of a genre writing challenge sometime in 2011 to 2012, during the productive years of LitCritters Dumaguete. I have not written much like in those days, especially fiction, with my routines and habits these days almost bursting to the seams already. But I guess this is a sign to get back into it. I am still mastering this craft, and I hope I can contribute more and better works through the years, to do my part as a practicing writer.

With that in mind, I am thankful for the writers Shane Carreon for giving me the heads up just a few days ago that I am actually published in this book, Haidee Palapar for calling my attention about the deadline for submissions almost four years ago, Hope Sabanpan-Yu and Lolita Go for relaying me to the editor on how to get my complimentary copy, and ultimately, NCCA, Juliet Mallari, Alex Dacanay, and Victor Sugbo for including me in this anthology. And also, Edgar Samar for pushing the celebration Buwan ng mga Akdang Pinoy forward into national discourse. We need more of this.

Sunday, July 31, 2016

the magic lives on



It was in late 1997, I was eight years old, and I was searching for the comics section in the Sunday papers, when I chanced upon a picture of a boy riding a broomstick and trying to catch this small winged golden ball. It looked absurd but it got me interested; I had never seen anything like it. I didn’t even know it was a review of a children’s book, and yet I immediately asked my sister if she could get me one as a Christmas gift. She agreed. And thus, several weeks later, I received Harry Potter and the Sorcerer’s Stone, the first book in a long long series.

I brought it to school, read it during breaks (and sometimes during classes). It was a time when everyone was free from the clutches of smartphones and the internet, so my classmates were suddenly curious about what was pulling my attention in when I was not talking to them. I told them about the book, told them about the story of an orphaned boy who turned out to be a wizard, and they were captivated. After I had finished the first book, I let my classmates borrow my newfound obsession. And then also the second book. And then the third. And then…

Thus, this was the beginning of a long-lasting relationship with Harry, Ron, and Hermione. With wands, spells, and the many forms of good and evil. And ultimately, with life, necessities, and love for literature in general. To read is to bring yourself to something new, to something magical. And to paraphrase a few words from the third book, “Anywhere is better than here.” And now, 19 years later, we are about to unfold a new chapter in the wizarding world.

This morning, after several days of following-up my pre-order at the nearest bookstore, the new story was released simultaneously worldwide, and I finally got Harry Potter and the Cursed Child in my hands. It was more special because it was released on Harry Potter’s birthday, July 31. There was a strange feeling brewing inside me. It had been a while. I was not sure if I am prepared to meet again someone, something I valued so dearly. So here I was, ecstatic to sniff the scent of a freshly unpacked book, to flip one page after another almost without end like I was eight all over again. I read the first chapter and, even at my age, it still felt right. Things do change, but the ones you love and treasure remain.

I believe this is how magic works.

Thursday, July 21, 2016

notes on a cardboard


Each day is a struggle. Which is why it worries me most that some people could say it’s a matter of choice to let things affect you. How selfish, how supremely naïve. We are humans, and we are gifted with empathy and understanding. Not being affected by what is happening to this country is almost like not living at all. This “cardboard justice” spreading like wildfire each day is just the beginning. When an accusation written on cardboards like “Addict at drug pusher ako. Wag tularan” gets stale and runs out of novelty, prepare yourselves for more of its variations… 

“Mayaman ako at magnanakaw. Wag tularan.”
“Babae ako at palaban. Wag tularan.”
“Aktibista ako at maingay. Wag tularan.”
“Bakla ako. Nakakahawa. Wag tularan.”
“Mahirap ako at walang makain. Wag tularan.”

It seems it is so easy to kill and get killed these days. No one is safe now. It is happening. And everyone has allowed this to happen. Blood is on our hands. And only time will tell you and I could be next.

Sunday, July 10, 2016

what will you become?


So this is the story. It looks like being single is a crime. That’s why we have a luxurious hotel where we can find our potential partner. The only catch: You’ll transform into an animal (of your own choosing, at least) if you can’t find one in 45 days. The pressure is on, really. It’s as if the worst and most surreal of reality television are gathered together and taken a notch higher. The Greek director Yorgos Lanthimos’ “The Lobster” thankfully sustains this absurd premise until the end. It made me wish I knew his films prior to this. Collin Farrell is doing a Matthew McConaughey here; after a long absence in a major movie production, Farrell enters the first frame of the film as David with assuredness and the weight of his dilemma. You can see it on the slouch of his shoulder. He even has a beer belly to match the character’s seemingly baffled and expanding state of mind. (Also, this only me excites for his turn in David Yates’ “Fantastic Beasts and Where To Find Them” come November). And Rachel Weisz, even with the minimal dialogue, is stellar as usual. Although the story’s year is not stated and we can only assume it is happening many years from now, Weisz’s is the character on film that is closest to the thinking that we have right now in 2016, albeit heavily cynic. The film is painful to watch, too. No, it doesn’t have ghosts, screaming teenagers, and grotesque monsters in the form a giant lobster. It doesn’t have any of that trash. Instead, it is unsettling not only because of its dystopian setup but because the conditions of the story almost resemble our present-day relationships: the fleeting emotions, the blurring between love and necessity, the disconnect. In this day and age of dating and hookup apps, the need for mental health care, and now Pokémon Go, “The Lobster” provides us a glimpse of an open window which presents an un-reality that’s bound to happen soon. I guess it’s safe to say let’s start thinking now of our preferred animal transformations.

[ photo borrowed from this site ]

Friday, July 01, 2016

700 after 6 months or on the 2nd half of 2016

Today is July 1, the beginning of the second half of the year. And looking back to the first six months, I’m left wondering, have I actually done enough in the first half? Have I accomplished anything that I can be proud of? Was it all worth it?

The road to this day was not entirely smooth and easy. I believe it will never be. There will always be that patron who talks loudly than the movie in a theater, that person who cuts the line to the cashier, those people who spread lies and think they can get away with them, those socialites who mistreat their server in a restaurant, those past loves that come knocking on your door without notice, and many more. Basically, those people in your life and around you who make living hard and miserable.

Just yesterday, in the early maneuverings of this new chapter in my life, I already feel like I’ve just endured three grueling years in one go, even if it has only been the second week. But still, for my 700th post in this blog—which I have started way, way back in August 26, 2006 (that’s almost 10 years ago!)—I’d like to say, come on over, July! Bring it on! After a long while, at least I can genuinely say now that, yes, it is all worth it.

Saturday, June 25, 2016

many fears, many priorities

The crisis that is making waves in the European Union (EU) is, and should be, a cautionary tale. The majority of the United Kingdom voted to cut its ties from the EU, thus, Brexit. For anyone still trying to wrap their heads around Brexit, here is something that might help.

The bottomline is this: This is what happens when fear, greed, selfishness, and the stubborn desire for “change” without even thinking of the implications and complications take over a nation and its people. After Duterte and this European rejection, Trump winning the future US elections would probably be the proverbial final nail in the coffin. That link above should be required reading for the young and the old. This must be everyone’s priority. This, again, is a cautionary tale.

*

Many are inclined to prefer the unreal because many fear and loathe facts, the searing sting of truth. Which is why, it seems to me, many still shrug off literature in the Philippines. Which is astoundingly ironic, with its national hero being a writer. Many still mistake literature as a lie, a bottle of time-killers one resorts to when nothing tickles his fancy. It’s as if it has never been treated to inform and to heal, to uplift and to unveil. If we go this route, this lie, well then literature does fabricate, but it is a fabrication that tells a greater truth. Far greater and immense than anyone could ever imagine. But, at least, we tried. The fictionists tried. The essayists tried. The poets tried. It is all about the trying.

*

For several years I’ve been searching for the first (or early) edition, short novel version of F.H. Batacan’s “Smaller and Smaller Circles”, a work that is widely regarded as the Philippines’ first crime and detective literature. I have searched for it in Manila, in Dumaguete, in Cebu, in my home province Bohol. None. It is initially printed way, way back in 2002 with limited copies, and learning that it would be translated into a movie soon is making me want it all the more. Its themes, its political miasma, to me are a timely companion to what the Philippines is experiencing right now. In a few days’ time, Digong will officially take charge of this country. So I badly needed this book. And last Thursday, something arrived in the mail. The book! With three other books! What a wonderful surprise. I am really grateful for people who understand the workings of my priorities. Thank you, dear friend.

Monday, June 13, 2016

hate is still here

At two in the morning in Orlando, Florida, a mass shooting took place inside a gay nightclub, leaving 50 dead and 53 wounded. These numbers may continue to rise, and this makes it all the more painful to learn that all of this happened during Pride Month.

This is a reminder for everyone in the LGBTQ community that “Pride” is not just about gym-fit men gyrating almost-naked in a parade or about an Instagram picture flaunting yourself in a floral Perry Ellis shirt. Pride is about solidarity, it is about overcoming the evils of this world, it is about educating people on acceptance, tolerance, and compassion.

The LGBTQ community has faced issues and violence many times through the years, but there’s nothing more sickening and terrifying than this mass shooting in recent memory. For a lone gunman to travel two hours to a very welcoming and accepting community, to murder innocent men and women, only highlights humanity is far from overcoming hatred.

And this hatred comes in many forms. Just last April, a high school classmate of mine mocked me publicly online for my understanding of bigotry, ironically going to the extent of quoting its dictionary definition for me to be truly enlightened. (I didn’t get his point.) And last February, a former classmate in college defended himself when I pointed out his rudeness and insulting attitude towards the gay community, even telling the world and I to “fuck my priorities.” Very classy, right? Whether we admit it or not, homophobia (and xenophobia) still exists in this time and age.

Hate does not only come in the form of bullets.



Sunday, June 05, 2016

whistles, bisaya, and debauchery

Just a few days ago, here is what a Gabriela representative said about Duterte’s catcalling, casual derogatory remarks, and overall bombastic behavior: “Ganun talaga mga Bisaya.” (People from the Visayas are just like that).

For the record, friends and loved ones, not all Bisaya people speak and behave the same way as P-Gong. Don’t let this tarnish the rest of the kabisayaan. And shame on you, Gabriela. The hero you should be emulating—Gabriela Silang—must be rolling in her grave right now.

Sexual harassment is no laughing matter. More so something that you should not just shrug off or dismiss to get your next shot of tequila. Such callous response to catcalling, especially for a women’s organization, is disheartening and worthy of a thousand face-palms. I mean, seriously, when will people ever understand that sexual harassment is not only limited to a penis forcefully entering a vagina or a finger ramming into a butt-hole? Kelan pa ba?

As expected, P-Going justified that his whistling was mere appreciation of the GMA-7 reporter’s beauty—which is usually the excuse of people finishing two bottles of Tanduay Rhum in the nearest sari-sari store at two in the afternoon. Note: I am almost close to coming into conclusion that this guy is incapable of owning up to his mistakes.

But here’s the thing that most people fail to understand: if the whistling is uncalled for and the woman (or even man) feels uncomfortable, harassed, embarrassed, or unsafe, then that is sexual harassment. It’s as simple as that. And if one cannot understand or refuse to understand this explanation, then one is a contributor to sexism and a whole host of problems in this country. One legitimizes harassment or pambabastos in the guise of “appreciating beauty.” I find this really quite strange because P-Gong actually has this ordinance in Davao City that mandates catcalling is punishable. Astig, right? Breaking the law that you personally passed? What an irony.

When it also comes to being Bisaya, here’s another concern. I am neither from Manila nor from Davao (I’m a Bol-anon through and through), but I have every right to speak up and challenge such generalizations. That is why I find it really naive and primitive for some people to laugh at those who critique the president-elect and suggest to these critics to “move on” or “just chill.” Move on, you say? Remain silent while the chaos before you is gradually draining the life and future of your country?

Based on personal observation alone, those who usually do not challenge or ask the questions are those who know nothing at all. I love the Philippines. So if your sole recommendation is to simply “chill” and “move on”, then that only shows how comfortable you are living in your luxurious cocoon of indifference and ignorance. Congratulations, mate! Live your life in the next pub crawl or with that slice of cake while your whole nation crumbles!

A few mornings ago, someone on my Facebook account cries out that P-Gong’s manner is just a way of countering the debauchery of the faulty institutions and oligarchs of this country, that his critics should thank him instead because he has brought these problems to public discourse.

Right then and there, I recognize the glaring problem. These institutions may have faults (all institutions have faults, actually), but this is no excuse to have such brazen and thoughtless display of misogyny, bigotry, sexism, and the lack of common sense. Just because he has done something right on one particular matter, it doesn’t mean he has free pass on doing whatever he wants, trampling on someone’s decency and respect. You can never clean up a roomful of junk with just a paper towel in an instant.

I also beg to disagree that we are only having this discourse right now and that people have been unquestioning of these institutions. That is pretty insulting to those who are having this discourse since God knows when. The only difference right now, maybe out of a miracle or blind fanaticism, is that all of a sudden the majority of the people just keep on praising and clamoring for whatever comes out of P-Gong’s mouth.

Time and time again, I’ve always been bringing up this common problem of the Filipino mentality: We only want to see what we wanted to see, hear what we wanted to hear. Nothing short of selective.

Debauchery, you say? How about being a womanizer? A self-identified murderer? A Marcos apologist and sympathizer? An Arroyo-enabler? A historical revisionist? The moral decline and influence? There are worse things, yes, and these are a few of them. If his unrefined manner is a way countering the debauchery of those faulty institutions and faulty oligarchs, then he is just as good as the people he is challenging. Oh, and speaking of oligarchs, having mostly friends and classmates as his cabinet secretaries?

What an irony.

Thursday, June 02, 2016

wait and see

“Wait and see...”

I’ve been receiving and reading this statement online and offline whenever President-elect Rodrigo Duterte spits out something from his mouth, something that’s highly questionable and just straight-out silly.

This, perhaps, is the lamest, senseless, and laziest excuse I’ve received in a long, long while. Let me give you something to reflect on: When you see a thug who is about to stab an old lady with a knife, do you “wait and see”? When you find out your boyfriend is cheating on you, do you just “wait and see”? When you encounter a man having seizures on the floor, do you simply “wait and see”? When you chance upon a burning house in the neighborhood, do you just “wait and see”? When you discover your child with an arrow pierced through his chest, can you just “wait and see”?

You see, when problems start springing up right before you in plain sight, you can never ever just “wait and see.” Common sense dictates that you need to do something—quickly. Or else, brace yourselves for the consequences of your own decision-making. Finally, do you know how cancer spreads so fast and easily? It's ignoring the first signs of symptoms.

When being critical calls for it, warts and all, then criticism is highly needed no matter who you are. Just because a particular criticism is not good to hear, it doesn’t mean it is not supposed to be heard. This is the problem with the Filipino mentality: we only see what we only want to see.

But when it comes to the truth, being deaf and blind are the least of things we needed to be. What is worse than “wait and see”? These remarks…

“Andameng sinasabi!” 
“Feeling political analyst!” 
“Eh di ikaw na matalino!” 
“Tumakbo kang pangulo!” 
“So ikaw na magaling!” 
“Andame mong alam” 
“F*ck your priorities!” 
“Shut up!”

Just like a scene out of an abusive relationship, noh? Ironically, in the information age, these are the things people say when they have ultimately nothing else to say. There will never be a time that I would stoop to the level of these people, but honestly, nakakabobo lang talaga. Guys, these do not really contribute to the discourse on hand. It’s what you call smart-shaming. We will never learn from our mistakes if we never even try to learn. Let this positive change that we have all been wanting to truly happen. Let it begin now—especially within ourselves.

Saturday, May 21, 2016

apocalypse not


Bryan Singer returns with “X-Men: Apocalypse,” and to say the least, it is good. I watched it on premier night, and now I could finally sum up the experience with this: I enjoyed it as much as I enjoyed Zack Snyder’s “Batman V Superman: Dawn of Justice.” Yeah, give me the boos. The thing is, after the superb “X-Men: Days of Future Past,” this latest installment of mutant mayhem has unfortunately not sustained the momentum. We are in the 80’s, and we have Apocalypse as the main antagonist, and yet they do not feel weighty, insane and engaging enough. Hello! That’s Apocalypse we are talking about, one of the craziest foes in the Marvelverse! And yet his character falls flat and boring in this film. He even looks small next to Olivia Munn’s Psylocke (who was a perfect but another under-used choice, honestly). Oscar Isaac was a waste of talent. And on the opposite side of waste is the overexposure of Jennifer Lawrence’s Mystique. It is hard to dim the limelight for an A-list actress like J-Law, especially in a big blockbuster ensemble movie, but her presence and protest rally-like speeches in the story seems forced. She makes me wish for the darker, unpredictable Mystique of Rebecca Romijn instead. What truly stand out in this film are the younger mutants. The normally bland Cyclops is played by Tye Sheridan with so much attitude. Sophie Turner of “Game of Thrones” fame is surprisingly fit for Jean Grey. Evan Peters’ Quicksilver and Kodi Smit-McPhee’s Nightcrawler provide the humor in the right places (but let’s just forget the latter’s hair please). And we finally see Storm, played by Alexandra Shipp, who showcases her powers that closely resemble their portrayal in the comics and animated series. After assessing the previous X-Men films up to the recent one, I realize what makes this “X-Men: Apocalypse” not apocalyptic enough. Its plot is almost the same as those that come before it. Here’s an egocentric baddie, here’s a united team. Familiar, right? It’s because we have seen it all before. P.S. I also expected a lot of fireworks from Lana Condor’s Jubilee, but, oh well.

[ photo borrowed from this site ]

Sunday, May 08, 2016

on mother's day


In times like this, when the seas are rough and the waves keep rocking your boat, you need to keep calm and trust on your anchor. And for several years, this woman remains to be my reliable anchor. Happy Mother's Day, Ma! No words can define my love for you, not just on this day but always. All the time.

*

Today is Mother's Day. I know, it is another capitalist concept embraced by many. But it is good to remind ourselves that we celebrate the strength, love, and wisdom shared to us by our mothers. Outside our homes, the closest we could get to another mother is our teachers, from pre-school to tertiary education. I am lucky enough that I have a mother who is also a public high school teacher. Whether these teachers are men or women, they are still our mothers in the sense that they nurture us with the knowledge we need to face the realities of the world. But as I face the strange reality of this country today, some questions come into mind: How much knowledge and wisdom did our teacher-mothers actually instill in their children today and in the past? Have they taught these children the history that shapes the present? Have they taught these children to be critical and not be swayed by lies and fabricated stories? Have they shared the reality as it is? For all the teachers in this lifetime who have prepared me to this day, especially on this day before the elections, I am so much thankful. Your guidance, truthfulness, and courage to teach the truth and reality are an inspiration. To the rest of the teachers out there, persist, be honest, and teach well. Don't fail the future generation. It is the bravest job in the world.



along the trail of change (or delusion)


Make sure that change will definitely arrive ha, at hindi lang puro coming? Or else someone's going to Duterte you. Good luck, Philippines!
Link: Change Better Be Coming

*

Very fightening, indeed.

“It is frighteningly stark how so many Filipinos misunderstand what the role of the media is. We've been flooded with demands to comment on this, comment on that, what do you think about what so-and-so said, etc., as if the primary role of a newsroom is to judge something. Agencies have editorial pieces, sure. But for readers to outright demand a reaction from us on whatever issue is up their ass at the moment is so indicative of how they see media as simply a tool to justify their own biases. I know this may sound really trite and redundant at this point, but I just had to say it. So many Filipinos have no respect for knowledge. They just want to shout at something, to laugh at something, to set something before them and judge it blamelessly to their heart's content. It is so selfish. It is so, so childish. We lack education, sure. But even before that, what needs to be addressed is the infinite, gaping hole that is our conscience.” – Marguerite Alcazaren De Leon

*

Such powerful message for all the people out there, especially for the young ones who believe that Martial Law is the golden age of this country. Do not hold on to that lie. I've met kids and college students who insist that the Marcos years are the best years the Philippines ever had. Do not hold on to that misconception. Instead, those years were filled with torture, rape, murder, all forms of violations. Never forget the horrors of the past. Never bring those horrors to the present. It is never too late to change your mind.
Link: Campaign Against the Return of the Marcoses to Malacañang


*

“Basta _______ pa rin kami! Solid! All the way!”

Getting a response like that no matter how much facts and figures are presented only confirms my assumption that the majority of this country have a lot of growing up to do. The word "basta" simply negates reason and logic. It is the word that captures the very character of a classic stubborn man who refuses to learn and to be learned. In cases like this, there is no point in having a constructive and healthy discussion. Because when the word “basta” comes into play, you must know that the formulation of ideas has ceased to exist and the obvious is easily ignored. Basta.

*

Now let me tell you about Cognitive Dissonance, which is what many Filipinos here and abroad are experiencing. Read this explanation by Frantz Fanon:

“Sometimes people hold a core belief that is very strong. When they are presented with evidence that works against that belief, the new evidence cannot be accepted. It would create a feeling that is extremely uncomfortable called cognitive dissonance. And because it is so important to protect the core belief, they will rationalize, ignore and even deny anything that doesn’t fit in with the core belief.”

In other words, you believe the lies instead of the truth.

*

If you are responsible enough as living, breathing human being, know the trail of death Duterte leaves behind. A trail that continues to make a mark in our lives today and in the future. Stop this blindness. I still believe there’s power in knowledge.
Link: Tough Justice: On the Trail of Philippine Death Squads

*

Irresponsibility has consequences, has real human costs.

“My girlfriend was on the way to see me. She struck up a conversation with her taxi driver about the coming elections. After expressing an opinion on a certain candidate, she was told ‘Sana marape ka para malaman mo kung gaano ka kailangan si Duterte.’ When we met up, I had to hold her and assure her everything was OK while she cried. To anyone still entertaining voting for him, realize his mouth has real human cost.” – Rami Hourani

*

One thing I know for sure, at least I've never used as a source something from a Mocha Girl or Senyora Santibañez. Yuck.

*

Plagiarism is a crime diba? If you remember, Sen. Vicente “Tito” Sotto presented a speech, with most of its parts copied from many speeches from different writers without permission. So will he put himself in this prison island? Abangan.
Link: Sotto wants prison island for drug offenders

*

Oh well. Mahirap ng maniwala sa isang taong lantaran at hambog sa kanyang pagkasinungaling. He said he won’t run for president. He ran. He said he doesn’t have those BPI accounts. He did have such accounts. This man’s got no integrity, which is ironic, because he claims to be for the poor. He is actually fooling the poor.
Link: Duterte assures he won’t declare Martial Law

*

Be a good sport, not a sore loser.

“The assumption seems to be that Duterte's defeat can only be possible if other candidates cheat. We presume him to be invincible, due to survey results that consistently put him in the lead.
But election surveys--as helpful as they are--never claim to be predictive. They can help us make educated guesses, but no further. Recall that in the 2010 Vice Presidential race, Mar Roxas was long and far ahead of his opponents. In the run-up to the elections (as of 19 April 2010), 39% of SWS respondents were in favor of him. At far second was Jejomar Binay, who lagged by 14 sorry points at 25%. Sure and certain victory was foreseen for Roxas. 
Then Binay stunned us all by winning. In the end, he cornered nearly 42% of the votes, with Roxas second at close to 40%. 
Let's zoom back to the present. In the last few weeks, numerous accounts of electoral fraud--specifically overseas--have surfaced. The story usually goes like this: "I voted for Duterte-Cayetano here in Siberia, but when the receipt came out, it showed that I voted for Mar-Leni. P@#%@ niyo LP, grabe pandaraya niyo!"
Many of these stories have already been discredited, and the COMELEC has vowed to file charges against those who make false claims on polling fraud. Altogether, however, it looks like the electorate--particularly the pro-Duterte bloc--are being conditioned to believe that if Duterte loses, it's because Mar cheated him of the Presidency.
This is of course a preemptive move, but it's also a move that eagerly courts civil unrest. Because while many Duterte supporters are possessed of reason, a vast majority of them have shown extreme savagery towards those who criticize or oppose their beloved candidate. Should Duterte lose, it's not difficult to imagine their displeasure to manifest in discourse--or worse, action--of the same viciousness.
This isn't a doomsday pronouncement. It's only a possibility we must be mindful of. After all, the electoral exercise is, among many things, a frank acknowledgment of the breadth of possibility. This is why we troop to the polling booths in hopes that our candidate will pull through, never mind what the surveys say. In exercising our right to vote, we honor the fact of possibility offered to us by our democracy.
Anything can happen on May 9. Virtually anything can. Duterte might indeed win. Grace Poe might win as earlier surveys indicated and make her family and supporters proud. Roxas might win by the skin of his teeth and bring a sigh of relief to his supporters. Binay might blindside us again, the way he did in 2010. Miriam might redeem herself this time around and pull a surprise win on us. For crying out loud, Seneres might roll back the tombstone and say, Yo, I'm back, and I win.
If you are witness or victim to electoral fraud, by god, please report it. But we must keep in mind too that none of our candidates are owed victory, regardless of our passions, regardless of our faith in their fitness for the Presidency.
Update: A friend alerted me to the results of the SWS survey closest to the May 10 election in 2010. There, Binay and Roxas sat even at 37%. Again, however: anything can happen.” – Peachy Paderna

*

So, where's your Bible now?

“Pansin ko lang kapag kabaklaan ang usapan, ambibilis mag-quote ng Bible, pero pag patayan ang usapan, nakalimutan bigla ang 10 Commandments?” – Shakira Sison

*

That political video which featured kids was hard to watch. Using children? Seriously? But I think it was harder for the supporters of the candidate who was at the center of the video's attention. Because, whether anyone liked it or not, there was a sharp truth in the video that pierced and struck them hard. It cannot be denied; it hits home. The truth hurts. Reality bites. And this is the painful reality we could possibly be facing in the next six years. So think and think hard. For everyone’s sake.

*

The hypocrisy of the Filipino people is becoming sharper and clearer as the Election Day approaches. It’s funny to witness people insanely reacting towards an ad that featured children and saying it’s a dirty move. Talaga lang ha. So what about murder? Bigotry? Rape? Misogyny? The complete lack of respect to due process? Aren’t those things dirtier? Think. * Plunderer (noun). Someone who steals things from a place, such as a city or town especially by force. Well, birds of the same feather flock together. No wonder Digong wants to release her when he wins.

*

Many of us Filipinos aren’t feeling it at the moment, but the Philippine Peso's worth continues to drop. A bad, bad sign for our economy. The reason? Duterte’s lead in the elections race with his vague economic plans and threats to kill criminals without due process. These were enough to give possible foreign investors second thoughts and the cold feet. Aside from these, he openly joked about his penis and promised to pardon himself for mass murder charges in a conference of top business leaders. Whuuut. Now, can you see the unsettling future we're putting ourselves in with a Duterte win? Think.

*

If change is indeed coming, sige nga, I dare you to post online all the “wilwig” or pay money that you’ve received from all the running local and national candidates this election season. Let’s see if we've all changed for the better.

*

Walang masama kung magbago ka man ng desisyon. Ang masama ay yung mananatili kang bulag sa katotohanan, at pinaninindigan mo pa rin ang kasinungalingan at kagaguhan.

*

I am really starting to believe that the Philippines is but a little corner in Gabriel Garcia Marquez’s Macondo. The naive and stubborn majority, the gnawing heat, the sudden days of rain, the outworldly politics. The parallelism between fiction and our reality is close to perfection. If only I can close all of this shut like a book.

*

I’ll borrow this message from a friend whose name I won’t disclose because this person has been subject to bullying and harassment by rabid, unsound supporters of Duterte. The guy didn't win the elections yet, but his loyalists are now so self-entitled to inflict pain and threats to other people. So is this your idea of good citizenry and governance? Wake up and grow up, people. Think.

“Duterte is a lazy choice. No one man can solve the problem. Discipline comes from ourselves. It takes everyone to build a nation. Killing should not be an option. Let’s build a nation founded on respect and dignity. Let’s make democracy work.”

*

Most Filipinos love to play the Christian card. In this country, religion has always been the go-to remedy for all situations. It is no secret that the majority of Filipinos just love to brandish their being Christian on any issue. This was very apparent when same-sex marriage was legalized in the U.S. last year, and when boxer Manny Pacquaio likened the union of LGBT couples to something worse than animals. Many Filipinos condemned the legality of that marriage and many Filipinos defended Pacquiao. All because they are “good Christians.” With a capital C. May paquote-quote pa sila ng Bible verses. It is against the Holy Scripture, they said. It is very wrong! Fast forward to the election period, and these Filipinos are introduced to a man like Rodrigo Duterte. All of a sudden, things changed. Suddenly, it is okay to be a womanizer and a sexist. Suddenly, it is okay to bully. It is okay to influence and encourage people to be cyberbullies. It is okay to break laws. It is okay to be a bad influence. It is okay to be a bigot. It is okay to insult the LGBT community. It is okay to make jokes about rape. It is okay to curse. It is okay to exaggerate stories and make lies. It is okay to have no integrity and consistency. It is okay to be a mass murderer. It is okay to kill. Despite their insistence of being "Christians" and “good catholics,” suddenly, many Filipinos refuse to see these flaws. Suddenly, many Filipinos disregard the sins I thought they are so against to because, you know, they are supposed to be “good Christians.” So what happened this time? Does this only affirm that most Filipinos are irrationally desperate and selective of their beliefs from the very start? Who is biased now? I am no saint, good heavens! I’ve been to church only once this month. It’s just that when I see hypocrisy in full view, with so much pride in high-definition, the irony makes me really, really sick. If only there’s a word much worse and uglier than hypocrite…

*

Today in How To Get Away With Murder. Move over, Viola Davis.
Link: Duterte vows to pardon himself for murder

*

It’s hard to make sense out of this kind of evil to lead the vice presidentiables. I pray the citizens of this nation wake up and stop this impending horror. A vote for Marcos is an insult to the people who work hard for years to break the chains of tyranny. Please, stop him.
Link: Marcos still leads vice presidential race – Pulse Asia

*

If there’s one thing Duterte is good at, it’s that he says what the masa (desperately) wants to hear. “I will do this. I cannot allow that. I will kill them.” But, more than ever, the most important question to ask to yourself is this: Are his means and methods to do them practical, right, and ultimately, efficient (which is different from effective)? Think.

*

On the question, how to ensure good health and living for a community in far-flung areas? City and barangay health centers should have capable and pro-active workers (hindi puro naka-upo at chika lang sa clinic), a routinely updated and replenished stock of medicines, an effective information drive, and zero payment for the under-privileged. I agree with Santiago, Poe, and Roxas.

*

In a debate, Duterte didn’t ask Miriam Defensor-Santiago any questions. Of course he won’t. That’s expected. He’s afraid to get an answer and a rebuttal from the much sharper, much logical Santiago.

*

Binay, when asked by Roxas in a debate about the charges filed against him, seems to say, “Since I will and cannot answer you honestly, let’s discuss something else, okay?” Talk about segue!

*

Important question:

“It’s incredible how pro-Duterte supporters defend their idol to the death, even when he says the vilest, more horrible things. Context daw, research more daw, words vs. actions daw. And yet when it’s about another candidate, all these things are thrown out the window. What to do when the blind choose to remain blind?” – Michelle Tan

*

This is what arrogance sounds like. For a man who keeps honking his “political will” like some sort of agimat, he sure is driving away our current and possible foreign investors. You know what happens if that happens? If we cut off our international ties? Economic decline, mga ma'am ug mga ser. Let’s get poorer. Let’s remove the possibility of jobs for our unemployed men and women. Let’s have these unemployed men and women resort to the extremes like, you know, drug-dealing? And I thought Duterte supporters hate drug so much. Sigh.
Link: Duterte tells US, Australia: Sever our ties if I become president

*

Here’s a true story recounted to me by a friend. This is no joke. Yesterday afternoon, in a boarding house along Gallares Street in Tagbilaran City, a woman was found dead with her body all tied up, stabbed, and covered with her bed's foam. She was, as it turned out, also raped. A crowd was growing outside the house, and beside my friend was a group of young ladies trying to hear more of the incident. Suddenly, two men on a motorcycle stopped in front of them. They just stared at the ladies, and one of the guys said (in the vernacular), “Hoy mga inday. Magingat kayo ha. Nakashorts pa naman kayo at magaganda pa. Baka kayo ang masusunod na ma-rape. Mas-ok sana kung ako nalang mauna.”

It angers me to hear news like this on television. But hearing it happening in my own home province, the anger in me boils on a whole new level. Boholanos, is this how we have become as a people? Where is our decency? Where is our sense of respect? Where is our empathy and common sense? And I thought Tagbilaran is a city of friendship.

This incident only heightens my call for people to reconsider voting for Rodrigo Duterte as president this coming May. Duterte is not fit for president. You see, this is the trouble of having an influential man like Duterte who keeps on spitting out inappropriate words that seem harmless to himself only to take them back when lectured about them. Yes, yes, he says he is sorry (or is he?). Yes, yes, actions speak louder than words. I hear you. But words are as powerful and persuasive as actions.

And if we continue to allow ourselves to have a leader who keeps saying things and taking them back, again and again, because (he reasons) he is always taken out of context, what are we going to believe? What context should we believe? Is it a context that rape is funny? Is this a context that gives those two Boholanos an excuse to jokingly rape a group of women? The elections have not yet begun, but we are now witnessing the consequences of Duterte's actions. Be very scared, people. Be scared not of the president you highly idolize but be scared for your family, your friends, your loved ones. These group of ladies could be anyone close to you. Let’s not get to the point in our lives when we regret the decisions we have made. Don’t make this country sicker than it already is.



The Philippines has finally reached a point wherein most of its people believe and depend on memes, one-liners, and hearsays instead of facts, news, and books. No wonder it is really difficult to pull ourselves out of this political black hole. ‪

*

The funniest but most troubling argument by many Duterte supporters regarding their idol joking about a raped and murdered Australian woman is that Duterte is taken out of context. No, guys. That’s not a valid excuse. You should not joke about rape, especially a raped AND murdered person. Rape is rape. These very acts dehumanize a person. You just cannot take rape into a different context, as if you're saying chocolate can taste like bagoong. No, it can’t. I’ve met kids, teenagers, and even adults today who still joke about rape, and every instance worries me so much. Because every time rape is taken lightly as a joke, the crime becomes trivial, the offense becomes less serious. Instances like Duterte’s “joke” contribute to this country’s ugly rape culture. And recently, although Duterte’s daughter says she is once raped but is not offended by her father's words, she is a different story. Of course she will side her father. But remember, there are millions of rape victims out there, somewhere, still silent and painfully living with the trauma. If you think rape is funny and if rape is your fantasy, please visit the nearest hospital. Consult your psychiatrist. I will pray for you.

*

Let’s turn the table and ask this question:

“Someone on Facebook raised a really good question: for the sake of argument, what if the tables were turned and an Australian Prime Minister said, ‘Oh that Filipina who was gang raped by prisoners in an Aussie prison? She was beautiful. I should've been first.’ Now, how pissed do you think would we be?” – Joel Pablo Salud

*

Change is coming? O baka naman rape is coming? Rape of values, rape of dignity, rape of intellect, rape of a nation, rape of humanity. As what we all know by now, even if one can easily dismiss Duterte’s recent rape joke (because he kills low-level criminals but praises the likes of Marcos and GMA), nobody can deny that his uncontrollable behavior is really going against his platform’s emphasis on “discipline” and “political will.” Ironic diba? Ugali nga niya di makontrol at madisiplina, bansa pa kaya?

*

Think.

Thursday, March 31, 2016

28

There’s still so much to learn and unlearn, to understand the misunderstanding and the misunderstood. It seems one cannot afford now the thrill of the perilous, of getting caught, or of getting caught and still getting away with it. Or can. It’s a matter of compromise and choice. Always, you choose the moment you want to celebrate and remember. I’ve made my choice, and this is to distance myself from everything that has distanced away from me. There is no need to force anyone from bridging the gap. Just acknowledge the gap, learn that a chasm between you, me, and everyone else may exist. Also, you cannot walk the same bridge that you have forgotten or have chosen to neglect. It never works that way. From what I’ve learned, this is how it is supposed to feel like when you reach a certain age: to be always almost there.

Saturday, February 27, 2016

too manny to mention


Several days have already passed since we’ve first heard Manny Pacquaio’s now infamous opinion on same-sex marriage which is, by extension, an opinion on homosexuality. It’s easy to read that between the lines. The furor over his remarks is a little downplayed now on social media and local television. But the fire is still burning.

“Mas masahol pa sa hayop.” Worse than animals. This is what Manny Pacquaio said when asked about his stance on gays and same-sex marriage. Clearly, the man does not know anything about the animal kingdom. Look at the penguins, Manny. Check out the seahorses, too, Manny.

Pacquaio’s views on same-sex marriage and the LGBTQ community in general is not just an opinion. It is pure hate masked in religiosity, a faith blinded by scripture that is taken too literally. I mean, who in the right mind would think that anyone who does not match his principles is someone of lesser value? I have to say that Pacquaio just ruined the true meaning of Christianity.

There is a name for that. It’s bigot. Look it up in the dictionary. Also, check hypocrite.

As congressman who is consistently absent in the House of Representatives, has passed no bill or law, has worked so pretentiously on his image to become a Filipino hero, or basically has done nothing to improve our political conditions, now let us ask ourselves: What’s worse, a gay man’s union with another man or a man as stubborn, useless, and irresponsible as Pacquiao?

Of course, his supporters are quick to defend. They are even up in arms when Nike cuts its ties with Pacquaio, as if these guys can never accept the reality that everything one does has its corresponding consequence. Even if you are a has-been boxing champ. It’s actually as simple as Newton’s Third Law of Motion. For every action, there is an equal and opposite reaction. If you cannot take full responsibility of your actions, then it is high time that you grow up.

But, no, Manny’s defenders will never grow up. “It was just an opinion!” they would cry. “Everybody has the right to say their opinion!” Now, I’ll get this straight to the point. I am awfully tired of this excuse that I’d rather quote a statement from Filipino artist Gerry Alanguilan: “Hey, everyone’s got a stupid opinion. I’ve got one. You’ve got one. Politicians can have one. The problem with politicians is that their stupid opinions can become policy. And that I have a problem with.”

Big problem, indeed. And on his Instagram account, Pacquaio continues to post bible verses that suggest gay people should be put to death. Hay naku, Manny. For everyone’s sake, let’s get ourselves educated again with this book that every religious person and hypocrite alike loves to brandish in our faces.

The bible has enumerated some laws, and these laws are only supremely viable in the era these are written. One of these laws is a verse in the book of Leviticus that mentions a man sleeping with another man (that’s sex, to put it bluntly) being a grave sin. Yes, it is in the holy book. But this is the part wherein most people fail to understand and remember: historical context.

Human population before is not as overwhelming as we have right now. Overpopulation is clearly not their problem. That is why to ensure a family’s bloodline or a community’s heritage through the years, it is highly important for all to conceive and raise kids as much as they can. And since man cannot biologically conceive a child with another man, therefore, hitting the sack and banging the night away with the same sex is pointless.

Still with me? Now that’s the thing with historical context that most of our rabid religious friends will never acknowledge. Because if we do not apply the historical context of the bible, implementing every written law in it, then all of us are doomed and bound to hell. Because, you should know, the divine scripture also states that we must never eat anything with scales and fins that come from the sea, we should never wear gold, we cannot have tattoos or piercings, we cannot braid our hair, women should never speak in church, and many, many more.

And yet, once this historical context is pointed out, the bigots are quicker to change the topic. That is why in the wake of this sports icon’s blunder, it is troubling and painful to learn that more and more people are still peeking out of their caves to dismiss the concerns and welfare of the LGBTQ community because there are other “important” matters to think of. There are some family members and “friends” who proudly proclaim they can love the sinner but hate the sin. Dear, that is the most pointless and heartless way of showing your concern. Here, take this necklace with a bling that says “Former Friend of Fred.”

Worse are some people who resort to shaming and insults. There’s this person who is accusing me of being overly sensitive and over reacting about human rights, and suggesting that we better talk about China’s missiles instead. This is so difficult to fathom. Because when it comes to human rights, shouldn’t anyone’s universal and default reaction be sensitive? It’s human rights we’re talking here, not some paper clip! Without human rights, your mother can be raped, your little brother can work as a slave in a factory, your father can be kidnapped for sex trade, or your first-degree cousin can be put to death anytime by anyone. Of course, my sensitivity on matters such as my dignity and rights should be on hyper-drive. If there’s just a Baygon for hypocrites and empty-heads, I’d buy it in bulk. As in boxes. Isang spray ka lang. Pak!

You see, I’ve been insulted many times before and today. Some are bearable while some are just too violent to share even to your closest friends. “Hambog, weird, lami birahan” just to name a few. These have happened in the workplace, in school, even in places where such labeling unlikely strikes. What’s scary is that some people could lash out without understanding my side of things. If I respond to their words, they reveal their claws and lash out even more. It’s frustrating, it’s tiring. And if it’s my turn to respond with a measured act that counters the seriousness of their offense, they cry out and instantly take the role of a “victim.” I am too old for this vicious cycle of bullying, and I think I can handle anything that comes my way. But sometimes, it’s just too much. If one crosses the line, all I can do is just to remind anyone that, “Hey, that’s not right.” It always pains me to remind people of this.

Pacquaio’s remarks did create a divide in my life. And with all honesty, it is traumatic. Although it is hard, with the number of heartbreak increasing whenever I discover someone I know and respect has bigoted views about the LGBT community, I am still thankful that all of this happened. It is truly in the darkest, most painful episode in life that you will know who your real friends and comrades are. Through this ordeal, suddenly, I have been united with my truest allies. I am so jubilant to learn I have some people who’d always have my back.

Now here’s the thing: Each day is a struggle for anyone who is living on this earth, regardless of gender or orientation, age or class. That is why if we simply accept the core values of all forms of spirituality in all kinds of religion, we will learn (soon, hopefully) that respect, compassion, and love are all we ever need to make things a little bit better. Love, above everything else.

And as a reminder, let us learn from our mistakes, and start growing up from there.


[ illustration by Rob Cham ].