one chapter down

Nothing elaborate. No new me. No kilometric year-ender essay writing contribution. Just a photo of me to remind myself, perhaps a year later or so, that there was a moment in this life that I have a genuine reason to smile. Let’s just say 2019 is hard, and a majority of the 2010-2019 decade harder, but thanks to everyone who endured with me both delightful and agonizing experiences, these affairs eventually accumulated to that reason. Hope to see you all again in 2020 with much better reasons to smile.

everyday christmas

Since her birthday is also on Christmas Day, it feels like every day is also her birthday the whole month of December. Yey!

dear ma

Just a few words: Christmas Day is always exceptional because of you, and what I want for Christmas is to have more Christmas Days with you—stronger, healthier, happier—so we could travel together more to places you have not traveled to in your prime.

Happy birthday, Ma, and I love you.

merry christmas!

May your Christmas Day bloom with so much joy and blessings, and your loved ones blossom into more beautiful, compassionate souls. That’s my yuletide wish for you.

new poem for the holidays in the sunday times magazine

Happy holidays, my loves! My poem “The Walk Toward Home on a Holiday Season” is published today in The Sunday Times Magazine (22 December 2019), the magazine supplement of The Manila Times newspaper. This will be my Christmas treat for you!

You can buy the paper at your nearest newsstands and bookstores. Here is a link to the poem in case you can’t get a physical copy.

how to make an accident

A passerby stopped by the table, paused, and asked me, how are we supposed to create an accident? Is it even still an accident? I said, it is for you to find out within its pages.

How to Make an Accident is my second collection of poems. Just leave a message if you want to get a copy.

my latest poem published in the sunday times magazine

I just got a new poem, "The Wait at the Doctor's Clinic," recently published in The Sunday Times Magazine (10 November 2019), the magazine supplement of The Manila Times newspaper. So happy this made print; I literally wrote this while I waited for my turn at the doctor's clinic.

It is also available online. Here is a link to the poem.

call for manuscripts to the 59th silliman university national writers workshop

The Silliman University National Writers Workshop is now accepting applications for the 59th Silliman University National Writers Workshop to be held from 27 April to 8 May 2020 at the Silliman University Rose Lamb Sobrepeña Writers Village and the Silliman University campus.

This Writers Workshop is offering ten fellowships to promising writers in the Philippines who want to have a chance to hone their craft and refine their style. Fellows will be provided housing, a modest stipend, and a subsidy to partially defray costs of their transportation.

To be considered, applicants should submit manuscripts on or before 6 December 2019. (Extension to the deadline will not be made.) All manuscripts should comply with the instructions stated below. (Failure to do so will automatically eliminate their entries).

Applicants for Fiction and Creative Nonfiction fellowships should submit three to four (3-4) entries. Applicants for Poetry fellowships should submit a suite of seven to ten (7-10) poems. Applicants for Drama fellowships should submit at least one (1) One-Act Play. Each fiction, creative nonfiction, or drama manuscript should not be more than 20 pages, double-spaced. We encourage you to stay well below the 20 pages. Aside from manuscripts in Poetry, Fiction, Creative Nonfiction, and Drama that should be written in English, the Workshop will also be accepting manuscripts for Balak (poetry in Binisaya) and Sugilanon [short story in Binisaya]. Applicants should submit a suite of seven to ten (7-10) balak entries with their English translations, or three to four (3-4) sugilanon entries with their English translations.

Manuscripts should be submitted in five (5) hard copies. They should be computerized in MS Word, double-spaced, on 8.5 x 11 inches bond paper, with approximately one-inch margin on all sides. Please indicate the category (FICTION, CREATIVE NONFICTION, POETRY, ONE-ACT DRAMA, BALAK, or SUGILANON) immediately under the title. The page number must be typed consecutively (e.g., 1 of 30, 2 of 30, and so on) at the center of the bottom margin of each page. The font should be Book Antiqua or Palatino, and the font size should be 12.

The applicant’s real name and address must appear only in the official application form and the certification of originality of works, and must not appear on the manuscripts. Manuscripts should be accompanied by the official application form, a notarized certification of originality of works, and at least one letter of recommendation from a literature professor or an established writer. All requirements must be complete at the time of submission.

Send all applications or requests for information to the Department of English and Literature, attention Dr. Warlito Caturay Jr., Workshop Coordinator, 1/F Katipunan Hall, Silliman University, 6200 Dumaguete City. For inquiries, email us at nww@su.edu.ph or call 035-422-6002 loc. 350.

[ photo borrowed from this site ].

another kid in peril

Now I found this a really good horror movie. I just don’t understand why this is sent straight to Netflix instead of showing it in movie theaters. Eli is the kind of good because of its wackiness. It starts gentle, moody, and then strange (of course), just leisurely ticking off the boxes of anything that you’d expect to see in this kind of movie. The tropes are all here. And then all of a sudden, it is totally not the movie you have imagined it to be the entire time, even in the final minutes. The cast is perfection, especially Charlie Shotwell, Kelly Reilly, and the ever reliable horror staple Lily Taylor. I didn’t mind its pacing and tone. They do serve as the right appetizers for the dessert that’s about to come. Eli is pretty sly. It is littered with moments that spoonfeed you with suggestions that you know what it’s all about. They are easy to spot if you’ve seen countless horror films. Until that third act unravels. It just flips the tables and goes hard for the jugular. There’s this one sequence near the end that’s equal parts poetic and nasty. It’s just crazy! And that’s what makes it fun. Enjoy.

[ image borrowed from this site ]

nothing to laugh about

It is inevitable that we finally get the cinematic treatment of a standalone, origin story about Batman’s longtime foe, especially with the hero’s appeal waning throughout the years in the movie theaters. Director Todd Philipps has crafted Joker that consciously distances itself from the current crop of comicbook films. It is brutal, knowingly dark, and has borrowed a lot from noir and psychological thrillers. Philipps knows the strengths of his actors, particularly Robert De Niro, Frances Conroy, and Joaquin Phoenix. Sadly, Zazie Beetz is criminally underutilized here.

Much adulation has been said about Phoenix’s performance, and all of those are true. You simply cannot ignore Phoenix, just by the sight of him alone in each frame. He has this gangly body like stretched rubber, one that is always at the point of breaking. And break he did. This is an acting that is tremendous, almost grotesque in its unhinged ferociousness. Comparisons to Heath Ledger's Joker in Christopher Nolan’s The Dark Knight are valid. But Phoenix’s Arthur Fleck—the character before it became the infamous Joker—is different. Here is an unlucky man-child who works as a hired clown, dreams of becoming a standup comic, and lives with an ailing mother in a world that is systemically determined to make their lives miserable. It doesn’t help that Fleck has a condition that prompts him to laugh, painfully, at the most unfavorable times.

The movie has its funny moments (it is The Joker after all), but unlike the quippy Marvel humor, these moments still involve chaos and bloodshed. Yes, bloodshed. And poverty. And confusion. And government budget cuts. And secret bloodlines. And the good old cruelty and manipulative injustices of society. This sounds bleak and hopeless, but that is the point.

And it makes this movie dangerous.

It is basically a vivid representation of our flaws, of all that we usually ignore and the consequences we get from doing so. Despite its (successful) attempt at fleshing out the grey areas of our regular excuse of “us being simply humans,” it is terrifying to imagine the glee, the affirmation, people who have been equating mental health issues to something abstract and purely evil could get from this film. It is also difficult to shake off the feeling that it has the potential to heighten the stigma around said issues and to validate revenge fantasies—especially for people with impressionable minds in the age of violent instant gratification, Trump, and Duterte. With a pop culture subject that is as massive and influential as The Joker, it is not funny. It has just become too real and scary.

[ image borrowed from this site ]

agi: the pathways for our literature

Words are among our simplest of comforts, but when wielded differently, these are also a source of division and displeasure. That is why, in the recent Agi Creative Writing Workshop—organized by Kaliwat ni Karyapa (KaKa) writers collective, with the support of the Center for Culture and Arts Development of the provincial government of Bohol—these things were held to a higher standard, handled with a master’s care.

Patterned after the country’s major writers’ workshops, where a panel of distinguished literary artists dissects and studies the participants’ submitted works, Agi is the first of its kind in the province, gathering practicing and emerging writers from different parts of Bohol. The term agi is a Bol-anon word for “handwriting” and “to get through.”

The writing fellows are Cathleen Grace B. Dahiroc, Marlene G. Estorosas, Mae Tiffany O. Gallendez, Donita Jeanne Gervacio, Karla Jane Gonser, Anne Genelou D. Hangad, Vanessa Jane Jumoc, Lucell Larawan, Carlo Christopher A. Lelis, Karen Lara M. Libot, Ariel B. Logroño, Mary Rose D. Morales, Ruvyne Gayle A. Nagal, Ruby Angeline A. Pring, John Harvey Reforeal, Ronald T. Salada, and Venice Alyzza L. Ugay, along with two members of KaKa, Dandreb James Arro and Amor Maria J. Vistal.

The workshop sessions began on May 25 at Reyna’s The Haven and Gardens Hotel, where the first order of business was poetry. The panelists for the day were poets F. Jordan Carnice, Paul Joseph Vistal, and Palanca award winners Rene Eune “Coy” P. Ponte and Noel “Roy” P. Tuazon.

Since the fellows were a mix of high school students, working millennials and long-employed professionals who reacquainted themselves with their love for writing, the panelists balanced their critiques by pulling the hardest punches, but still aiming for sharp but necessary tough-love advice.

Criticism is never meant to discourage, but everyone needs to know what can be improved and what should be disposed. For poetry, this includes growing out of comfort zones: to kill your darlings when lines sounded beautiful but gratuitous; to break out of traditional rhyming schemes that constrict, rather than uplift, the poem’s intent; to stop mimicking Hallmark greeting card poetry and Instagram aphorisms by setting aside Lang Leav, Rupi Kaur or Wattpad and then venturing to other literatures; and above all, to read, read, read more works, especially by local writers.

There was also the dialogue on allusions and central metaphors, heightened language that ushers the reader to insight, ekphrastic poetry, sexism in writing in the 21st century, enjambments and caesura, brevity versus excess, and many others. The standout that day was some of the balak, Visayan works of poetry that were clearly more Bol-anon than Cebuano, capturing the sensibilities of one’s culture and strength of the native tongue.

May 26 was dedicated to prose works, covering both fiction and creative nonfiction. The workshop was moved to the new Bohol Provincial Capitol near CPG Park, where everybody endured the indoor heat due to the absence of electricity in the building. This only added to the unease of the writing fellows who were at the receiving end of more heated discussions. Luckily, power returned just before lunch. The main panelists for this day were overall workshop coordinator Liza Macalandag and Bonifacio Quirog Jr., along with Carnice, Vistal, Ponte and Tuazon.

Although nothing is truly original, since an idea is a reflection of reality or response to another idea, the critiques still touched on inventiveness and demands of narrative, requiring the fellows to ask themselves these: What does “show, don’t tell” mean? What makes this narrator’s point of view distinctive, but still relatable? How do I avoid becoming didactic, but still driving home the point?

The temptations of purple prose, the wasted opportunities of going back to heritage for story material, and the phallic undertones (or overreadings?) of some of the pieces were among those that animated the discussions. In the end, whether the story is sci-fi, horror, a recording of personal angst or an excerpt of a longer memoir, the consensus for any literary work is that substance should always trump form. The skeleton needs organs and muscles for the body to move.

After the workshop sessions, the panelists were impressed that, despite of the unsavory words that came with the praises, nobody among the fellows cried or left the room in a fury, unlike many of the panelists’ past workshop experiences. But when they were asked to share their thoughts about the workshop, tears were shed. They agreed that this two-day fellowship was an opportunity too rare for anyone to pass, especially in Bohol, and they were beyond grateful that they were gifted with the space to identify themselves with another writer, to unload questions they were fearful to ask (ironically) in classrooms, and to refine their craft while getting the chance to connect with other literary artists in the province.

This response proves that there is a desire for a community of writers in Bohol, that there is passion for writing and critical thinking despite the constant assault of misinformation these days. There are already several writers workshops held annually in the country, serving as major rites of passage for aspiring writers, but they are mostly outside of Bohol — the Silliman University National Writers Workshop in Dumaguete City, the IYAS Creative Writing Workshop in Bacolod City, the Iligan National Writers Workshop and the many university-led workshops in Manila, to name a few.

Finally, Bohol has the Agi Creative Writing Workshop, a gathering everybody hopes would be institutionalized and reach its golden anniversary in the future. Because, like reading, writing must never end. Writing our literatures is fundamental because, no matter the place, it is a way of memorializing (and learning from) our nation’s traumas and triumphs.

But Agi is not just about writing and establishing one’s penmanship in the country’s many literary expressions. It is about creating pathways for new writers and tirelessly following the journey of history and heritage of a people. And based on the direction this workshop is going, it is on the right track.



[ this article is published in The Sunday Times Magazine of The Manila Times on June 9, 2019 and an abridged version is published in The Bohol Chronicle on June 2, 2019 ].

midterm elections 2019 thoughts and tidbits

Election day is perhaps one of the few days to get your hands dirty. Well, just a fingernail actually. 

* 

You can’t mock and shame people for posting photos of their inked fingernails on social media, regardless of who they voted. They did a mighty job fulfilling their duty as a responsible citizen. Kudos to them, kudos to everyone!

If it’s up to me and it is completely legal to have all of my fingernails doused in COMELEC-issued indelible ink, I’d gladly grab the chance and take hundreds of pictures of my nails for posting on every social media account I have. Kebs ninyo.

*

Woke up at 5AM to get to our precinct before 6AM. Arrived at Eastern Cogon Elementary School, double-checked my name in the lists in Cluster 33. Took the queue; I was the third person in line. Early bird, right? At exactly 6:15AM, I accomplished my ballot.

Funny thing was the machine accepted and scanned our ballots (mine and my sister’s), but once the ballot receipts were printed, the screen on the machine showed this “paper jam” error message. Thankfully though, the receipt correctly mirrored our votes. The inspector called a technician for assistance, but all the technician ever did was shake and slap the machine. You know, like what people do with old TV sets back then? All the slapping and shaking curiously worked, and so the machine readily receives another ballot. But then another paper jam message will show up. Another round of shakes and slaps. It was like this for every ballot inserted. The machine is basically faulty or broken. The Philippines is one gigantic comedy show.

*

I voted as early as 6AM because I needed to watch Game of Thrones hours later without guilt. After the show, it saddens me when I realize that what just happened on Game of Thrones today is basically like Duterte-era Philippines.

So guys, I pray, please vote wisely and with the future in mind. We can truly change this.

31

My heartfelt gratitude goes to everyone who remembered and greeted me on my birthday yesterday.

People say you become wiser with age. Although wishful thinking dictates it has a smidgen of truth, I just think you become equal parts jaded, dumbfounded, and generally exhausted, especially with all the happenings in this world.

But the fortunate thing here is that (if you are fortunate enough) you find people around you who are as jaded, dumbfounded, and exhausted as you are. Kidding aside, what I want to say is that you have to have a support system, and I am thankful I have my family with me and very few friends who I can genuinely call friends throughout these years. And pinpointing them out is hard, TBH.

Many fear the coming of 31, that it’s like jumping over a cliff with unknown heights, or finally crossing the three decades prior with inadequate life skills and experiences to prepare you for the next decades or so. I guess some of these are true, some not. There will always be questions that will continue to nag you. Have you done enough?

Have you corrected and made peace with the errors you’ve made in life? Are the choices you make benefit you and you alone? And after everything you have achieved, are you truly happy?

These are valid questions, concerns. Ultimately, to me, what matters is that you know deep within your compass that you know where you are supposed to be, what you are supposed to do, whatever your age is. To hell with where the rest are going and are doing.

To borrow and paraphrase a few words from our queen mother RuPaul, shantay wherever you want to sashay.

birth month

The Two-Headed Calf
Laura Gilpin


Tomorrow when the farm boys find this
freak of nature, they will wrap his body
in newspaper and carry him to the museum.

But tonight he is alive and in the north
field with his mother. It is a perfect
summer evening: the moon rising over
the orchard, the wind in the grass. And
as he stares into the sky, there are
twice as many stars as usual.


*

I am drawn to this poem by Laura Gilpin again and again in the past few days and I still couldn’t prevent myself from being pierced by what it is trying to convey. This is one of the few poems that has the same effect on me as “Allowables” by Nikki Giovanni and “The Diameter of the Bomb” by Yehuda Amichai did when I first read them. It just leaves me like a massive wreck, my nose stuffy and my eyes puffy.


*

Perhaps the reason why I gravitate to this poem lately is that there is this one revelation last year, in 2018, that keep recurring to me in the present. It is the shock of finding out, as I was cleaning my contact list on Facebook, that a person—a person who is once close to me—now has a profile that is labeled “Legacy Contact.” The term meant a person has passed away.

The information came to me in 2018. The actual person left three years prior. The thought bothered me the past few days because, on the year of the person’s departure, I received a message from this person and I chose to ignore it. It was a one-worded message: “Fred.” It was like a call, it sounded like a concern, or an opening to a confession that needed attention, but I kept silent for reasons that were deemed appropriate during that time.

Today I wonder what would have been our conversations like if I had responded to the message. I will never know.


*

I didn’t give it much thought until recently, when I had been to several birthday gatherings of friends and family in just two weeks, that I realized this month, March, is my birth month. Yes, I am turning a year older in a couple of days. How fleeting time is, right? How short-lived the days could get when you fill them with distractions in an effort to finally say you accomplish something right in your life.

So this begs the question: Is this all there is to it?

Will there be another time in this repetitive existence when we (both) look up into our respective skies and see there are twice as many stars, as usual, and feel everything is all right? Still all right? One could only hope so.

58th silliman university national writers workshop fellows

Silliman University, together with the National Commission for the Culture and the Arts, presents the 58th edition of the Silliman University National Writers Workshop on April 29 to May 10 at the Rose Lamb Sobrepeña Writers Village in Camp Look-out, Valencia, Negros Oriental and the SU Campus. Here are the 10 writing fellows of Batch 2019:

Poetry
Arielle Abrigo (Antipolo City)
Alsteine Diapana (Cebu City)

Balak
Jefferson Del Rosario (Danao City)
Dave Pregoner (Lapu-Lapu City)

Fiction 
Kaisa Aquino (Quezon City)
Catherina Dario (Muntinlupa City)
Samuel Evardone (Metro Manila)

Creative Nonfiction
Donna Patricia Manio (Imus City)
Cavite Riddick Recoter (Metro Manila)
Maria Gliceria Valdez (Davao City)

Tara Eunice de Leon and Jhudiel Brigid Plando will join them as special fellows for fiction and nonfiction respectively. Two applicants have also been invited as special workshop mentees: Alter Hofileña (Misamis Occidental) and Geormie Yanoc (Mabinay, Negros Oriental).

The panel of writers/critics for this year includes Director-in-Residence Anthony Tan, resident writers Cesar Ruiz Aquino and Ian Rosales Casocot, as well as regular panelists Alfred Yuson and Marjorie Evasco. They will be joined by guest panelists Rica Bolipata-Santos, Simeon Dumdum Jr., Susan Lara, Grace Monte de Ramos, and National Artist for Literature Resil Mojares.

Beginning last year, the Workshop has been accepting manuscripts for Balak (poetry in Binisaya) with corresponding English translation. The inclusion of Balak has further enriched workshop discussion regarding the craft of poetry rendered in different languages and the cultural nuances that underpin such expression.

Founded in 1962 by S.E.A. Write Awardee Edilberto K. Tiempo and National Artist Edith L. Tiempo, the workshop is the oldest creative writing workshop of its kind in Asia. It was recently given the Tanging Parangal in the Gawad CCP Para sa Sining by the Cultural Center of the Philippines. The Silliman University National Writers Workshop continues the legacy of the Tiempos in giving value to literature and creative writing in the Philippines.

For more information about forthcoming events during the workshop, e-mail Workshop Coordinator Lady Flor Partosa at nww@su.edu.ph or call the Department of English and Literature at (035) 422-6002 loc. 350.  

[ article lifted from the Edilberto and Edith Tiempo Creative Writing Center Facebook page ]

19th iyas national writers workshop fellows

The IYAS National Writers’ Workshop of the University of St. La Salle, Bacolod City proudly announces the 12 Fellows for 2019.

Elizabeth Joy Serrano Quijano (Binisayang Sugilanon)
Maria Cristina I. Canson (Hiligaynon Binalaybay)
Nicole-Ann T. Lucas (Hiligaynon Sugilanon)
Isabella Kathrina S. Villarojo (Binisayang Dula)
Ryan Cezar O. Alcarde (Filipino Tula)
Alec Joshua B. Paradeza (Filipino Maikling Kuwento) 
March Anetonette S. Ortuoste (Filipino Dula)
Jefferson G. Del Rosario (Binisayang Balak)
Sigrid Marianne P. Gayangos (English Short Story)
King V. Llanza (English Poetry)
Jose Luis B. Pablo (English Poetry)
Edmark T. Tan (English Poetry)

Last year’s IYAS Writers Workshop had Dr. Marjorie Evasco as director and Ms. Grace Monte de Ramos-Arcellana, Ms. Susan S. Lara, Dr. Ronald Baytan, Mr. Em Mendez and Prof. John Iremil Teodoro as panelists. IYAS Project Director Atty. Raymundo Pandan, Jr. and workshop founder Dr. Elsie Coscolluela had also joined the panel.

The IYAS National Writers’ Workshop is co-sponsored by the University of St. La Salle, the Bienvenido N. Santos Creative Writing Center of De La Salle University, the National Commission for Culture and the Arts, and the Institute for Climate and Sustainable Cities.

This year’s workshop—the 19th edition—will be held at the Balay Kalinungan Complex of the University of St. La Salle, Bacolod City, from March 31 to April 6, 2019.

[UPDATED 03/31/19]

breakable

Say what you will about M. Night Shyamalan and his recent films, but I just re-watched “Unbreakable” and, man, this guy is good. Really good. He is a master of mood and composition. It's on Netflix. Watch it.

I just think though that he needs an editor these days, or someone to restrain his wild wild ideas. To cut his philosophising. To focus on the emotion. (And to limit his cameos?) Because these are the methods that I believe made “The Sixth Sense” and “Signs” so tense, so moving.

His latest film, “Glass,” could've been great like those three. This is perhaps his wildest, boldest film to date but it is also his most frustrating, most perplexing. So ultimately, bad habits are just hard to shake off, noh? I guess he is not entirely unbreakable.


[ image borrowed from this site ]

happy birthday, mother dear

Yesterday, December 25, may just be another day to be merry with complete abandon for some, but in this household the 25th of the 12th month of the year means something more. Probably even more than any other celebrations out there.

Because December 25 is also the birthday of my mother, the person who I always wish to become but staggeringly fail. But despite these drawbacks, both big and small, she accepts them, rises above them with grace and generosity. That is why it is easy never not to love her.

Happy birthday, Ma! And Merry Christmas!

happy holidays!

It is now the eve of a day when many people find joy and conjure the most simple of reasons to celebrate the smallest of things—life and warmth, food and shelter, luck and laughter, good decisions, company of friends and family.

So for this particular Christmas, I will make it simple as well: I wish we can have it all throughout the year and in the next, and I wish we will experience these with people who love us, respect us, and who truly matter to us.

From our family to yours, happy holidays!

last copies here

Out of 75 copies, I am down to my last seven copies of my poetry chapbook Weights & Cushions.

In June of this year, I made an initial print of 25 copies for Silliman University and DumAlt.Press’ LGBTQ Zine and Book Fest. Not much was sold during the festival, but friends and relatives here and from someplace else thought it was a good idea to buy and support my work. I am so grateful for these beautiful supportive souls. Apparently news reached New Zealand, Australia, Costa Rica, New York, California, etc etc. And I was running out of copies, so I made another print of 50 copies a week later. And today this is what’s left of it.

Five of these are actually going to Roxas City in the province of Capiz for VIVA ExCon 2018 this week—along with an art zine I’m still working on (something I call Philippine Roast and Other Drawings)— that means, technically, I’d only have two copies in my hand.

It’s mostly a solo effort, doing everything on your own, one that many would like to call a “vanity project,” but it is this very criticism why I am doing all of this in the first place. Keep ‘em coming. .