go to school and die

By Fred Jordan Mikhail T. Carnice

The Weekly Sillimanian

July 16, 2008

Files upon files of papers were written about the glories and fortifying testaments of being a student and how to live the way of life but haven’t you heard of the other side of these sweet, almost-unblemished articles of exaltation? But little do most geeks and nerds know there are more important notes in life than burning the midnight oil. Well, here are some things which can make you think that being a student really sucks.

Reason #10

You just don’t need all those classes. You won’t be working all the jobs there is in the world anyway. You greatly admire the wonders of music yet you have to study a terrifying class of other countries’ literature, you aspire to be the next great anthropologist studying different cultures to be cultured but you end up finding inspiration in your chemistry class. If being holistic is the main concern, you’d better expect something insightful in all those classes to become the quintessential jack-of-all-trade.

Reason #9

You’ve been partying all night and you need to go to school the next day. Every teenager deserves sleep—what were they thinking making you take all those classes? It’s injustice in the most unadulterated form. Also, this only means that this class schedule is getting in the way with social schedule. As what the experts have said, practicing social skills is part and parcel of everyone’s positive growth.

Reason #8

You’d be in big trouble if you miss class but teachers seem to easily get away with it. Try hollering about their inefficiencies and you’ll end up in the dungeons or in the fires of hell. Just choose your desired fate.

Reason #7

You have to pick your outfit everyday and make sure you weren’t wearing the same one for a minimum of one week. Classes alone make your head throb with pain, what more if you’re deciding your gab for the day? Nothing is more demanding in your life than having to demand something from yourself that you cannot pull off on that day. Confusing, eh?

Reason #6

Teachers throw tons of assignments, research papers, and essays for you to do like as if you have time to do it all and as if it’s the most fun thing in the world. And they offer this to you with so much enthusiasm that equals a toddler’s first day at the carnival. This just shows how sweet they really are.

Reason #5

As a student, you pay the school. If you’re working, some people get to pay you. Do I need to spell it out?

Reason #4

You try joining into various out of the ordinary organizations, groups, and even school politics thinking, at the least, of refreshing yourself from all those classroom brainwashing sessions. You are oh-so perky and excited but, suddenly, next thing you know words after harsh words strike from behind you. Just brace yourself for constant backstabbing and fake smiles because these abound in your chosen path. Surely, a human’s means of surviving a competition is absolutely remarkable.

Reason #3

All your life, you are a student. Do you remember a part in your life where you weren’t in school? If you die tomorrow, could you say you’ve done everything you wanted to do and tried everything you wanted to try just by being in that chalk or marker scented classroom? Of course, not.

Reason #2

A boring day in school with your monotonous teachers or an incredible, fun day with your friends—take your pick. The bad thing is “None of the above” doesn’t work here since you’ll have lesser choices as your non-professional profession as a student progresses in campus. You don’t have a choice in a lot of things, actually.

Reason #1

Remember those times when people tell you that the learning is not confined within the four walls of the classroom? That the best way to learn is through your mistakes and rising each time you fall? Then, what are you waiting for, baby? Get away from the classrooms. Start a “real life” for this does not only cover your scribbles on that tattered notebook or daily reports on manila paper but also the times when you cartwheel the long distance of boulevard at dawn or scream random names at various different houses you don’t even know who resided in them. Commit the biggest mistake of your life and learn your biggest lesson. This is irony in its truest form.