Tuesday, June 01, 2010

punctuate

There is nothing left to think about

since everything has been printed
broadcasted forwarded relayed
heard side by side chats gossips
phone messages conversations
over bottles of beer cups of coffee
in uptight steel and wooden cafés
there is nothing left to think about
since there is no time to pause and
think since the right time doesn’t exist
no wonder no one knows the news

5 comments:

speakinginhushedtones said...

I like how there's no punctuation - makes the images come out more, bombards the reader. I actually want more of these images, in a way it might (by virtue of excessive cataloging) literally render your reader with nothing left to think about (but this is the resident long poet speaking here hehe).
Also I think the piece would do better without "there is nothing left to think about / since" (remove that line and you don't lose anything from the piece) kasi nasa title na. :)

Rhodge said...

Alyza, pareho tayo ng observation. :) This one I thought ang title ay "Punctuate."

f. jordan said...

@Alyza: Thank you so much! My usual titsers are busy these days, they couldn’t respond to any of my emails. I hope posting some my drafts in here will help me trim, dissect, mash, squeeze a better thought out of them. But more of the images? I thought that’d be jarring; but on the other hand, yes, “literally render your reader with nothing left to think about” is a good idea. And the part that you’ve mentioned, I’ll try removing it in the next revision.

@Rhodge: The word (usually all on its own lang) at the end of the “line” is merely an abstract thought that, in my head, I believe, encapsulates the entirety of the message. It is not necessarily the title. :)

Roadside Reviewer said...

made me read like i was in a hurry for nothing until catching a breather sa end and finally realizing there's something there that gave me pleasure

f. jordan said...

@The Reviewer: But why pleasure? In my head, I am thinking that all this information we have (we can have), right then and there, aren't exactly helping us get what we want. The vast data streaming from everywhere just convolutes and complicates our questions. I just don't think it is a pleasurable thought. :(